Actual racing stories to come.

Hi Mom!

weird thought

if Gunn Rita married Curtis Gunn instead, she would be Gunn Rita Gunn.

Not a post about racing.

A retro grouches heaven.
Beautiful lugs are easy to admire.
Retrobilia cooler than what I found in Belgium.


have you ever seen a fork like that?

Bisbee is where it's at.

We have arrived. It is indescribable. Take a desert, add red rocks and hills, 4500ft of elevation, mines, hippies, real harley guys, men in skirts, art cars, border patrol, secret stairways, impossible roads called Brewery Ave., OK st. Tombstone Canyon, and you have a small sense of what it is about. The New York Stock Exchange original building is here. It is eccentric and liberal and anything goes.

We are staying with Colleen up in the canyon in a little basement apartment. Michelle and I have the run of the downstairs and have spread our bikes everywhere. It is a relief to have summer nights here as I never get them in SF. We have met the local bike shop owner, Ken, who is a NC transplant so the Cheerwine goes down well with him. He ends up being a great support for us and we will always think of him as a great memory of Bisbee. Cinelli e molto especiale --Kens Bike shop, Bisbee Bicycle Brothel.
Old bike stuff. It's cool.
The man, Ken. He has good taste in bike stuffs.
Our corner of Bisbee, known locally as the Liberal town in the conservative desert.
6:00am view from the house.

Old school post boxes are cool. So are small town post offices where the postal employees wear hawaiian shirts.
Here I am with the new team van. (cuz it matches the bag)
Colleen smiles cuz she knows whose car this is. Michelle smiles because she sees a Mcdonalds sticker.

RV Adventures to the Southwest

Michelle and I set off in the Team van last week from SF, and drove to Redlands to check in with our hosts who somehow never tire of us, Janey and Jim. They are cool. We were pitstopping there to break up the drive to Bisbee Arizona, and it made a huge difference.

Our 2nd day driving took us through the desert and into some amazing gas stations. Among things like jeans, haircuts and guns, you can get really cool Jesus and Mary art.
Only $12.99!!!
Incredible! These are hitch caps, fer yer truck. Could you ever imagine these two trucks being parked next to each other? Is there a Brokeback joke in there? Oh, BBM is passe now. Ok.
Only the finest Gas station restrooms offer the glowing variety.
There are too many off color things to say about this, so I will just let it speak for itself.

Bike shoe love

Terry's shoes: Terry customized one pair by painting them silver to match his DFL finale outfit one year. Pic to follow one day. Remember the mismatched Northwave shoes?

Sarah's shoes: My Sidis through the years. Too bad I donated my neon ones. The aqua ones have stars on them. These are very rare.

Hallucinations in Copperopolis

Saturday was a road race in a far away place called Milton, California, population: 97. The race raises money for the Cemetary every year, which is weird, but necessary. Where would they put the bodies if they didn't raise the funds?

Penny and I rolled out of SF at 5:30am and proceeded east for 2 hours. We didn't stop to pee. It was dark. By the time we neared J14, our final road through the country until we reach Milton Road, it was light enough to see that we have not spotted one other car with bikes on top. This was worrisome. Were we lost? no. IS the race today? maybe. Did we change our clocks? ridiculous.

At last, we pulled up to the town cemetary and see Wayne, french-kisser of Penny, wearing an orange marshall vest. He begins using plane landing gesticulations to guide us to parking. We puledl off the dirt road and park. He has been awake since 3am.

On the way to registration, I saw my teammate Michelle's boobie-fondler, Chris, on line for the pret-a-portier, I mean port-o-potty. Huh? Do I have a teammate here after all? It could all be a rumor, but maybe there will be another Cherry covered girl in my race besides me. Last minute teammate!!!!

Next, we got into drag. Penny's new kit has a lot of white, which is important to remember for the next part of the story. I was at the back of the car, she was at the front, with her pure bred Orbea primping and preening while perched against the front bumper. What happens next is legendary, comical, Monty Python-esque. A truck pulls in front of us onto the soft shoulder. The shoulder has tall green grass growing over hidden mud. (Remember the 6 weeks of rain California has had?) The truck decides to move on, but when accelerates, goes nowhere. The only thing moving is the explosive launching of hunks and splats of mud out the back of the truck onto Penny, her kit and her orbea. This is less than 30 minutes before race start. Damn all those moving parts which are now mud bathed.

Race starts with 20 people. 6 are soloists, including me. Michelle attacked the master's mens race to get a different type of workout. We go out and do our thang. In the feedzone, there is a DJ. He plays "Our Lips Are Sealed" to get the crowd going. Again, it is 8:30am, in Milton, town of 97.

1st lap. Things happen, people shuffle around, potholes swallow the slower ones, and an attack goes off. Who is it? It is the girl with two first names. Her teammates forget which name is her first and they confuse her. She comes back to ask who were they calling for. Oh. Another attack goes, it is dirty Penny. She stays away, uncharacteristically, for half a lap. Watch out b/c I think she is sneakily becoming a TT-ist after so much together time with Bev and Wayne. Not too much togetherness, but enough. I flat before the last hill. Boring and exciting. Wheel is wobbly. My fault. Shifting is warbly, also my fault. Bike is otherwise solid. yay kanebikes.

2nd lap, Elecric Avenue plays from the feed zone. This is actually really funny since the road conditions looked like someone set off explosives all over the place like in Caddyshack. Up we go climbing, this time Bev launches and gets a nice gap. Say goodbye for now. The rest of us are split now into two groups. I am in the first group with some people, and they are a mix of Bev's teammates and Bev's enemies. The group rotates to pull Bev back. I admit I did not do any work. Well, not till later. I am not a flat-lander yet and if I pulled a lot, I would not be as sprightly. Okay, forget you read that.

3rd lap, lather, rinse, repeat. We skedaddle through the feed and see Wayne the main Dane bartending. He tosses me a Cosmo just like in Cocktail, and looks just as smooth as Tom C.
On we go to seek Bev. I try to rally the masses, well, just Mel, and fake like a climber up the stairsteps. Here we see a group of photographers, all fighting for the perfect rock pedestal to click from, and eventually one falls into the river below. Look up abbiorca and ronaldmariano to see who survived.

After more attacking and launching and chasing and bluffing, I find myself alone in between rollers. I am trying to bridge up to the eventual winning break, but am in no -nothing land. At this moment, I am passed by a smallish man in all blue, so thin and fit, he is like a gecko. He is being shadowed by anthor small, blue man, but light blue this time. This next guy is fit, and not even breathing, like a snake waiting to pounce on a mouse. This man is Gerolsteiner fit, and so it must be Levi. "hey Levi, what up?" "Nice work Sarah! Keep truckin and don't hit any small animals! You are a rock star!" We are pretty tight, me and Levi.

After the group behind me conjured up enough courage to join me again, we rolled through the flat boring section after the haunted barns. This is when, I swear, I saw someone's naked ass. I didn't even know that I was looking at it when it happened, because it was so unexpected. I realize it was late in the race, so brains were failing and all that. More power to her for peeing while riding; I had to go too. But man, if an ass has to appear, than make sure it is the last ass in the group so no faces behind it have to make "eye" contact.
Thanks.

More leaps and surges and we headed into the final hill. Just before this point, some mischievous types got away, which meant our group was going to really KILL it for 6th place, the last money spot ($5). Up and down we go, round and round and then bam! we finish. For 7th, I get a T shirt. It was a good workout.

Winner was Cindy Carroll.

Shoe Collection Contest

Who's shoes are cooler, mine or Terry's? Please don't let the smaller, cuter size influence your opinion too much, I need your aesthetic eye to be as unbiased as possible. [Bike shoe contest next week]
In case you were wondering, my shoes are in the background.

Santa Cruz Crit- 37th year

Mom took these photos. She is a great cheerleader and can following bike racing. Ask her about paris-roubaix, she'll tell you why Boonen was in a spot of bother. Back to the race, here we start with 45 women.
Roll out from start. Many teams had 6-8 girls, which made for a speedy crit full of attacks. Sweet!
Sarah in front on Front st. at the infamous downhill 180 turn.
This train, although small, was powerful. 2 laps to go.
Kelly catching up to the eventual winner for 2nd place. Only 23 girls finished.
Terry cleans the van again today.

'Screwed 22 times-Sea otter Circuit race

Sea Otter was a bit grueling. Many teams were driving hard over the climb to tire the eventual winner, Tina Pic, but were unsuccesful. The multiple surges for QOM and Sprint points made for a good workout, and somehow, after 22 laps, I was still there. My teammate Michelle worked her magic on the climbs and Kelly closed threatening, late-race gaps on the flats, and I hid amongst the front group (a little too much, as I got boxed in for the sprint) and finished 9th. Yippee a Top ten at Sea otter which is just fine. And the best part? The sun was out.

Where did we stay?
No question about it.
Eric doesn't let his wheelchair keep him from racing downhill. This machine weighs 65 lbs, costs $12000. Does not go well with lycra.
Super shy Gunn-Rita Meter Maid turned around right after this moment and threw me a shaka for good luck. We're totally good friends. Godt Nytt År!

After hordes of interviews and photo shoots, our team gets some warm up time under the protection of super fantastique tent loaner and retailer, Sports Basement, a great supporter of women's cycling.

To keep focused, Michelle keeps a lid on it.
After much squinting, it has been determined that it is me furthest right. The first of 22 corkscrew descents.
Tres amigos en rojo. Here we discuss where to eat after the race.
Michelle and Tina going on the attack. I look on, confused and pained.

Michelle whispers "Sarah, your face looks red. Are you breathing?"
Sarah explains "It is just my jersey. Imagine how webcor feels. Can I have a beer?"
Terry cleans the bikes again.

Sea Udder and Santa Cruise coming .

my camera is on the fritz so the updates are in limbo. But until Tuesday night....here we have
Sea otter quickie is :
Tina Pic -Colavita 1st
Sarah Bamberger Cheerwine 9th
Michelle Beltran Cheerwine 20th
Kelly Benjamin Cheerwine 36th

Santa Cruz crit for all the homies:
Broda Miller PaBW 1st
Kelly Benjamin Cheerwine 2nd
Michelle Beltran Cheerwine 11th
Sarah Flimflam Cheerwine ??

Visions of Cherries

At last, we have new kits. Style is everything. Our beautiful Kane Bikes with the cherries on top finally have a date for the prom, our new Cherrilicious outfits. Our pro models Gina andKelly model the lastest in Polish Lycra, showcasing the Spring/Summer 2006 collection from Verge by Marc Jacobs. Make up by Target.


















Kelly gets ready to mount something.



"Well shucks, Skeeter, I reckon I could use some bag balm real soon."


Um, I think I am a faster with my breasts strapped down.


Okay, we finally got it. This is our natural pose, if there is one.

San Francisco sight-seeing

Yes! although I will have to actually win some stuff to be allowed inside to shop.....
I appreciate this DIY bmx pad. Cheery.
This was a good era for her.
And even the tattoos are nicely painted.
While out with Mom, I ran into my buddyolepal Dylan. It was great to hear about him studying to become a nurse. His future patients will be lucky.

Garret Lemire (cat) sightings, sort of.

Our crew headed south again, to Ojai, this past weekend. Even though the racing was good and the course was cool and the weather was stupendous, we have no pictures of the race. Go to cyclingnews for that. What we doooo have, is a pictoral of what life is like in central california, on highway 5, at gas stations. These fancy tea sandwiches were dated put to April 14th, which means a 2 week shelf life. Shameful.

How can you have Organic fruitloops? that is gross.
J. Lo has perfume, 50Cent has baby wipes. That's OG.
Here's the beef. A stinky sight, known as Cowschwitz.
Kelly's kinky side had her considering these flowers below....
The best part is One Size Fits All.



Ojai is like Santa Fe, so it is more polished than Hwy 5 towns, but we did spot this in Ventura, which is a little bit weird: a store for kids like this one in the street.